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16 Nov

Restoring Self Confidence; Mirror Challenge


Restoring Self Confidence; You Are a Reflection of Yourself. The Mirror Spirit Check.

“It is one thing to acknowledge your lack of confidence & another thing to confront it.” -Shenell


Disclaimer: While reading this article, you will find I have chosen to use low self-esteem, self-doubt & lack of confidence interchangeably. The intent of this article is to encourage anyone who reads it, to no longer look at a lack of confidence as a surface and basic personality flaw, but to acknowledge its power & the detriment it bears on the soul. I am not gullible enough to believe you will be perfect after reading this article. However, if the tools provided are taken seriously, I do expect you to be equipped to overcome low self-esteem if it happens to tap you on the shoulder.

Low self-esteem is like a wolf dressed in sheep’s clothing- it’s unidentifiable. Often times it takes a real-life experience to reveal the dark truths of your core. Within a split second your hearts disparity is manifested & surfaces to the conscious, then it begins to rest on your character for the world to see that you & it are one. There isn’t a man who walks this earth who has immunity to low self-esteem. By no means am I saying, everybody will experience low self -esteem. What I am saying is, if you keep being human- a real person, self-doubt is not against tagging you in the, “YOU’RE IT” rotation. Don’t get caught slipping. For those of us who have experienced self-doubt, it is no secret that self-doubt has a strong hold that’s almost impossible to shake & conquer. Referencing the wolf in sheep’s clothing scripture, a lack of confidence can introduce itself so subtly. Its approach is clever & dressed in so many different characters; hence, it’s accountable for some experiencing it more than others. Where do you lack self-confidence?

“Unaddressed low- self-esteem is a silent killer”-Shenell & “To ignore a lack of confidence is to nurture the growth of malignancy” -Shenell

A lack of self-confidence is merely depression, just not diagnosed as an illness. What I find most intriguing about a lack of confidence is it has the exact same debilitating effects as depression. I dare to say that a lack of confidence is the root of depression. Case in point, low self-esteem is the seed & depression is the growth- Malignant.  Just like depression, a lack of confidence paralyzes your ability to be the best you. It stunts your ability to see yourself the way God sees you – both carnally & spiritually (Jeremiah 29:11, John 4:4 & Deuteronomy 28:13). What’s growing within your spirit man? Are you allowing it to keep you in the darkness & out of the light of self-confidence? Before you answer, don’t be fooled. A lack of confidence is not always the obvious loud & obnoxious behaviors. Look closely into the shadows. A lack of confidence can also be found in the far corners- quiet, calm & appearing unbothered. It’s dangerous.

“What’s happening inwardly will eventually manifest to the surface”-Shenell & “You are a reflection of yourself” -Shenell

As mentioned, low self-esteem wears many different hats; people respond differently to the effects. It’s intriguing how low self-esteem has the ability to transform individuals from one end of the continuum to the total opposite end. Lack of confidence is the easiest way to reconstruct one’s whole anatomical edifice. Mentally, it will nail you to identity dispositioning, screw you into emotional distress, & drill you into physical anguish. It’s just a matter of time before your inward warfare spins you into an outward, unjustified, inadequate, incompetent, misplaced, and dark apocalyptic soul.  Be reminded you are a reflection of yourself. What conspicuous or inconspicuous lack of confidence do you reflect?

Conspicuous: loud, moody, mean, impatience, vulgar, shy, obnoxious, easily offended, excessively silly, sluggish, sloppy, overweight, underweight, paranoid, jealous, talks about others every turning moment, complainer, judgmental, indecisive, ignorant, bad energy, uncompassionate, manipulative, inability to make righteous decisions, and what’s yours?

Inconspicuous: introverted, quiet, manipulative, distant, workaholic, hyper sexual, hypo sexual, confidence matching, excessive makeup wearing (amount or daily use), liar, use intelligence as a weapon to make others feel inferior, use money to make others feel inferior, does for others for self-reward, play the victim role, downplay intelligence, downplay beauty, fear rejection, fear loneliness, fear life, low confidence in your faith, think negatively, embarrassed of wife or husband, build life around status, cocky, cheater, unrealistic, unjust, mental disorders, and what’s yours?

These descriptions are very normal. People live and die with these types of heart issues every day. They are our politicians, ministers, doctors, lawyers, the homeless, child molesters, children, Uber drivers, rapist, murders, drug addicts, city workers, teachers, and celebrities. Let’s get closer to home. They are our, loving hard-working mothers; fathers who love us; sisters who comb our hair; grandmothers who cook for us; brothers who protects us; aunts who are second mothers to us; grandfathers who hug us; and they are me and you. Everyone can suffer from the identity plague. These are roadblocks that prevent us from loving people ultimately and receiving love, ultimately. It is impossible to live your best life with even an atom’s size of any of these personas dwelling within your spirit unaddressed.

Self-checks and evaluations are a daily responsibility. For the simple fact, you were created, built, and equipped to live a purpose.  Follow these steps to your healing.

The Mirror Challenge

Grab Materials- Bible, tissue, mirror and a clean area. When purging happens, emotions rise, most likely tears will flow. Christ will have a word; be ready to receive it. Your mirror will allow you to physically look into your own eyes, to literally see yourself spiritually. Your eyes are the route to your heart. Don’t stop looking at yourself.

  1. Mind Clear- Be Real– This is probably the weirdest most awkward challenge you will ever partake in. Trust me. Being open minded will bless you. Relax, guard down. Romans 12:2
  2. Mirror Reflection– Sit or stand in front of your mirror, arms relaxed beside you. Your body language should present a non-combative stance. Release any resistance immediately. Surrender to healing. Hebrew 3:15
  3. Pray- Ask the Lord to protect your confessions. Ask him to guard every part of your vulnerability. Tell him you trust him.
  4. Stare (3 min minimum) (May be frightening initially, but hang in there. You are just seeing you for you). Don’t say a word. Be quiet. Be still. Pierce into your soul through your eyes. Look deep. This is the first step to see yourself in your current state. This is unveiling your core. (When you shift, the environmental tone will shift) Luke 11:33-36
  5. Slowly Confess– This is not the time to save face. You are alone; hence you are your worse critic, judge, jury, and executor. Don’t beat yourself up. Just be honest about your most inner dark person. Answer, who are you? What are your conspicuous or inconspicuous character flaws? Don’t be alarmed if emotions meet a climatic range (This is healthy & powerful). John 1:9
  6. Origin (This will take time. Don’t rush it- breathe)- Search yourself deeper. Where did this behavior derive from? Was it neglect? Was it Abuse? Were you spoiled? Did you simply or suddenly just feel inadequate and unjustified? Where did it come from?
  7. Speak Life– Scream positive to yourself. Speak into existence who you want to become. Pull it from your gut. Speak it. Bring it to life! Isaiah 55:11 Proverbs 18:21
  8. Apologize–  You must forgive yourself for not being who God created you to be. Ask him for forgiveness. Now, ask for direction to your purpose.
  9. Exhale– This relieves you of the energy you just exhausted.
  10. Listen– Eyes closed, heart focused. This is the beginning of your healing process. Give God time to speak to you. He has a plan for you, follow it. Now, even as a work in progress be confident. You’re worth it.  Proverbs 19:20 & Proverbs 2:2


So Shenell

SoShenell, the Plus Size Chicago-based Fashion Blogger represents a multitude of fashionable, stylish, confident, sexy, unique, and healthy full figured gems.

  • Neti

    WOWZA. . .I am always looking to see your next Glammed up look and now this. I took my time to read this post and saved it to read again. The mirror challenge is phenomenal. THANKS BUNCHES!

    November 16, 2017 at 7:33 pm Reply
  • Bridgett Trussell

    Oh Yes, I Love this. It is wonderful, cleansing, and renewing. Some of your best work. So helpful, and inspiring. Thank You.

    November 18, 2017 at 4:22 pm Reply
  • Tamara

    Very powerful article and a blessing to all women! May this mirror challenge continue to bless all women they encounter this blog! This has truly been a blessing too me! May God continue to use you for his greatness Shenell!

    December 17, 2017 at 3:31 pm Reply

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