I use to hate when I would run across a meme that some guy has posted with a beautiful plus size model in lingerie and the question proposed was “Men would you date a big girl?” What?! What type of question is this? Who ask these types of questions?! I could not validate this shallow thinking. Then it came to me everyone has heard of the pseudo-scientific, societal cliché that men are visual creatures. What he sees is what drives his stimuli. Without further researching the raw fact of this stigma, I ask that you pardon my ignorance, but I must admit, I am running with this cliché. I believe plus size women deal with the misconception, if you are plus size it limits the chances of dating the man of your dreams. It is no state secret that men are conditioned at very young ages to believe that beauty is most appealing in a single size frame. From tabloids to social media and even his favorite smooth talking uncle or big brother has structured his subconscious to perceive beauty as superior on a woman who has a flat tummy and no rolls. Society has over exerted his visual sense so much, by the time he is an adult this pervasive opinion has become his reality. At this point “Houston, we have a problem.” He will never date us because he was never taught to accept our beauty. Am I saying that the media has robbed all men of their birthright to his own preference? Absolutely not. Nevertheless, I dare to say, for many reasons it is the influencer of the shallow veil over his eyes. Hence plus size women becomes second to never being his #bestest. Plus size women have to understand this is not our fault but damn sure our problem. When watching the movie, My Big Fat Greek Wedding the mother of the bride told me – yes me, “Men are the heads and women are the necks, and the neck can turn the head in any direction she wants”. Here are 7 ways to turn his head.
- Ladies confess with your mouth and believe in your heart “I am not a prisoner of my body”. This is the first step of breaking the chains that fear rejection. Every woman should tap into those things that deem her a rare jewel. The reason we are special, far exceeds our visual appearance. To be a woman of culture, education, faith, and socialization are 4 key factors that stimulates character and substance. Spending quality time with oneself builds self-acceptance, self-worthiness and fearlessness. We are plus size gems, who deserve to feel “Our beauty is flawed perfection”.
- His attraction to you “Does not end or being with him.” Never juggle the thought of your weight to determine whether or not a man will be attracted to you. Thinking like this is wasted energy and an immediate set up for failure and discontent. I suggest you rewire, because this is the least of your worries. If single size women are not battling “What if I’m too skinny thoughts” why should we battle “What if I’m too fat thoughts”? Real beauties only know how to be themselves and look amazing while doing it. If he’s the right man, your weight or size will not be alarming to him. A real man will gratefully prepare himself to handle a whole lot of woman. If he doesn’t find you attractive, there’s nothing wrong with that or you. Clearly he has his preference, but so do you.
- Say to yourself “My body is not universal neither is his preference.” Knowing you are beautiful & having an attraction to yourself is direct reassurance that is most becoming on you. This type of reassurance is not often spoken of, but he definitely noticed it when you walked into the room, and other women have notated not to underestimate the power of your presence for the rest of the night. Trust when your head is held high, back is straight and those hips are strutting from left to right, you have definitely made your visual demands.
- Admit, “My tummy chub, my thighs rub, yes I’m thick and I own it.” Now acknowledge your greatest assets and flaunt them. Dress your body in the sexiest garment in your closet, but keep it classy. Once he sets his eyes on your sexy self, watch how he surprisingly salivates over your beauty. His eyes won’t stop following you as you work the room with ease and grace. And the rest is history.
- Be sure to smell unforgettable. He’ll walk pass you hoping you notice him too. Let him get a whiff of that airy breeze of secret potion that sings all the right notes with your body chemistry. Before you know it, you would have lured him closer to you. Your silhouette has no real barring on how he sees you. “Confidence is the biggest persuader, what he thought he didn’t like, hell suddenly like in you” .
- Smile, it crowns you charming. The brighter your smile the more intrigued he’s become. Lock eyes with him and blink slowly, this gives him non-verbal permission to engage with you. Its time be attentive. Show him he’s the only one in a room of millions. As the two of you are enjoying one another, you must remain relaxed. Allow your body language to be fluid, because at this point you are the sexiest, prettiest, unique woman in the room. You have reached the climax of your sexual and intellectual appeal. Being a little flirty is harmless. Gently caress his back or arm to drown him deeper into your presence. He realizes you’re intoxicating. Your size does not make you any less capable of someone falling drunken in love with you.
- “Strut your curves or get eliminated.” Our bodies are beautiful, voluptuous monuments but until we believe it, he won’t believe it. Refrain from peasantry behavior of comparing yourself to others. You are an hour glass, rectangle, pear, apple, and triangle shaped goddess. A goddess with the attitude of a lioness, a walk like Naomi Campbell, the mind of a genius and a heart of gold. You are powerful, only to empower. Tell yourself, “I am an heir of curves.” We are not the first with this body and won’t be the last. Now stop in mid strut and turn around, just to find the neck has his head turned in your direction.